Once upon a time there lived a women who had a maddening 
passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately 
they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively 
reaction on her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. 
When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to 
herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never 
go for this carrying on."  So she made the supreme sacrifice 
and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on 
the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she 
called her husband and told him that she would be late because 
she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and 
the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. 
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would 
walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. 
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had 
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home 
she poot-pooted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably 
sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see 
her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for 
dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her 
chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about 
to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. 
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. 
He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed 
were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost 
unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized 
the opportunity, shifted here weight to one leg and let it go. 
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck 
running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her 
napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. 
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, 
which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears tuned 
to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this 
for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the 
end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her 
napkin placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling 
contentedly to herself. She was a picture of innocence when her 
husband returned.  Apologizing for taking so long on the phone, 
he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. 
At this point, he removed the blindfold............

"S U R P R I S E!!" 

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!