Sometimes you just have to laugh ....

 
IDIOTS AT WORK... 
 I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when 
 the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the 
 back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not 
 complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I 
 asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the 
 signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on 
 the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She 
 carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the 
 receipt. As luck would have it, they matched. 

 
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS 
 An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & 
 Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically 
 to lubricate your eyes." 

 
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 
 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call 
 the local township administrative office to request the removal 
 of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer 
 were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to 
 cross there. 

 
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE 
 My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She 
 asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." 
 He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. 

 
IDIOT SIGHTINGS Sighting #1: 
 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport 
 employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage 
 without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my 
 knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded 
 knowingly, "That's why we ask." 

 
Sighting #2: 
 The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the 
 street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker 
 of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I 
 explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She 
 responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people 
 doing driving?" 

 
Sighting #3: 
 At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving 
 the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, 
 "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not 
 another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer 
 staring into the headlights of an approaching truck. 

 
Sighting #4: 
 I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into 
 itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system 
 would not turn on. 

 
Sighting #5: 
 When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick 
 up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked 
 in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working 
 feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the 
 passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and 
 discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's 
 open!" 
 "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."