HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

*At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at 
passing

cars to see if they slow down.
*Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
*Insist that your e mail address is:
[email protected] or 
[email protected].
*Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
*Encourage you colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.
*Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
*Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
*Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
*In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
*Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
*Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
*Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights 
up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
*Don't use any punctuation
*As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
*Ask people what sex they are.
*Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
*Sing Along at the opera.
*Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
*Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
*Wear them one day after your boss does.  (This is especially 
effective
if your boss is the opposite gender.
*Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're 
doing.
For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom
*Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
*Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their 
party
because you're not in the mood.
*Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
*Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".
*Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
*When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd
time this week!!!"
*When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, 
yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
*Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, 
it's
the voices in your head that do"
*Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going 
to
have to let one of you go"
*Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"