Spoon In The Shirt Pocket


Last week I took some friends out to Chili's, and noticed that
the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the
busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a
spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the room and saw
that all the waitpersons had a spoon in their pocket. When the
waiter came back to check on our order I asked:
"Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Arthur
Andersen, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our
processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they
concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often
than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of
approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel
are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the
number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per
shift."

As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind
me. Quickly, the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one
in his pocket and said: "I'll get another spoon next time I go
to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right
now."

I was rather impressed. The waiter continued taking our order
and while my guests ordered, I continued to look around. I then
noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters
had the same string hanging from their fly. My curiosity got
the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter:
"Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone
is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned, also
found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of ...you
know... we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it
and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening
the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent"

"Okay, that makes sense, but... if the string helps you get it
out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't
know about the others, but I use the spoon."